podeamMany Things
There are times when disappointment grows, not due to any particular reason other than the event which led to initial disappointment. Just over time, disappointment grows.
You think that you would be able to be big enough to forgive, to rise up over circumstance, but.
I now can’t help but feel like I’ve been sloughed over, like an unwelcome burden kathumped on the ground.
I’m not that noble. I’m hurt.
And isn’t it incongruous that these dips always, always come after you feel so high?
Sometimes, we’re all the punch-line of a huge cosmic joke that, really, isn’t very funny.
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I’ve been trying to prime myself for accepting failure: oh, at least I learnt a whole lot; oh, at least I now know I can do it all alone; oh, at least I had something to spend my time with; oh.
It isn’t working.
Failure is failure is failure.
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Another internship position, that makes two in Canada. I’m not taking them, but it’s nice to have had options open.
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I worry if I’m becoming one dimensional, one of those annoyingly preppy individuals whom are all rahrah over academia and school life and other “enriching” projects.
Then I realise that for depth to be perceived, I need to want to show it. And since my coming to where I am now, for a year and a half, I’ve not anyone in my daily academic life I care to show it to.
So up yours, teenaged angst.
=)
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Sticks and stones may break my bones, but names will never hurt me.
Whomever said that was such a spaz.
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Doody doody dumity dah.
The End.