podeamMy Own Agenda, and Plan Of Implementation.
It is one thirty in the morning, and I can’t get back to sleep.
The past two weeks have been a brilliant, brilliant experience. I meant to journal and log, each and every day, but the volume of what had been done and what needed to be done and the feelings felt and mountains moved simply overwhelmed me.
Being part of the process as we were, it takes your breath away. I’m still undecided: is it because of the grand scale and macro implications of the conversations we’re having that awes, or disappointment in the flaws of the system and the process and the system’s and process’ people that leaves you drained.
In any case, I was there.
Working two weeks with people gorgeous inside and out – and believe you me, that’s no flippant platitude; it was hard to not get distracted by all the sexy peoples of the youth caucus – leaves you with a sense of profound.. profoundness.
I lie. It was easy to forget beauty, when what shines through so strongly is passion of spirit and of mind and of frustration that we can’t heal the world right now and here.
The experience made certain decisions clear, made certain paths extant. There are things that need to be done, and there needs people to do them.
The gulf between stakeholders must and can be bridged.
I sit here and think of the people I’ve met; and while there is strong regret that I might probably never see any of them again – it isn’t easy getting the resources to attend the CSD – there is also a great reassurance that there are people out there who are trying to make a change, and who are like me.
I had become anxious and cross, wondering if I were not suited for the job. The nuances of local “civil society”, and with all the heavy implications of inverted commas, jarred with my soul, and I wondered if I were not suited for the job.
I’m now pretty certain that the field itself isn’t very suited for the job.
I have the strength and the support of giants behind me, ties that go all over the world, and lead back into my heart and my mind. I can do this.
I will do this.
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